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The Wisdom of Groucho

For all of my intellectual scavenging, I’ve yet to find his equal.

I studied philosophy for over 10 years, taught it for 4, and almost made it my career. In that time, I’ve stumbled upon some great quotes that convey essential wisdom for living.

None of them have matched the quotes that I’ve seen attributed to Groucho Marx. His words— more than the other famous philosophical Marx — have informed a lot of my worldview today (for better or for worse). Here’s my list of favorites:

  1. “Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.”
  2. “Humor is reason gone mad.”
  3. “The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.”
  4. “Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.”
  5. “Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them…well I have others.”
  6. “If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.”
  7. “I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.”
  8. “Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.”
  9. “While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.”
  10. “I intend to live forever, or die trying.”
  11. “Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while”
  12. “Time wounds all heels.”
  13. “Before I speak, I have something important to say.”
  14. “If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.”
  15. “Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.”