There’s this monologue I love from the show Breaking Bad. It’s about half-measures. You can read the whole thing here (warning: it’s a bit profane and grizzly).
The gist of the speech is that the speaker, Mike, used to a cop. He and his partner would regularly be called to the same couple’s house for domestic disturbances. The really large, abusive husband would regularly knock around the thin, fragile, scared wife. But each time Mike and his partner arrived, she would refuse to press charges against her husband.
One day, Mike got the call without his partner. He showed up alone. He’d had enough. He threw the husband in the back of a squad car, drove off to some isolated place, and threatened him. If he ever laid a hand on his wife again, Mike would kill him.
Two weeks later, Mike and his partner were called to the same house. But this time, it was for a homicide. The husband killed his wife. Mike laments as he delivers the story’s lesson:
“The moral of the story is: I chose a half measure, when I should have gone all the way. I’ll never make that mistake again.”
Boy is that ever true when it comes to personal development. No half measures.
Of course, it’s not a life and death matter, like Mike’s story.
Or is it?
When we take on new systems or tools to help us make positive changes in our lives, we’re looking for help — but we know we have to put in effort. The problem is that we usually end up taking half-measures. There are two halves of the equation to making systematic changes in your life. Without both of them, you end up with abandoned aspirations.
Let’s look at how we often only take half-measures, and what we need to do in order to make personal growth stick.
The Two Halves
It’s easy to get swept up in excitement about the newest self-improvement craze, newest fitness regime, or personal productivity trick. We read the books, print out the worksheets, buy an app, and attempt to implement the plan — step by step.
And then, inevitably, somewhere, it goes off the rails. We don’t stick to the plan. We break the habits. We get discouraged. Our progress grinds to a halt.
So…
We don’t see the results. We lose hope. We sink into the couch, defeated. We end up right back where we started, hungry for the next system or method that can save us.
And while it’s easy to blame the system for not being affective, “just not being your thing”, or being too difficult to follow— the truth is something a little more difficult to swallow.
The truth is we fail when we try to implement new systems because we are taking half measures. There are 2 distinct pieces of work that need to be done to make adopting a new system successful. And we usually end up only doing the first one.
But that second half of the work is vital. It not only ensures a better short-term use of the new system (whatever it is). It also ensures sustained and consistent usage of the system — which means sustained results.
One Size Fits None
The problem with taking someone else’s step-by-step advice is that our feet are all different sizes. We each have a different appetite for complexity, different energy levels, and different ways of learning. So even if an overall system is sound, the discrete steps that make it up may not work for everyone as they’re written.
And while I’m using that foot analogy I’ll offer another one: Not only are our feet different sizes, but the staircases we’re climbing (our self-improvement journeys) are also markedly different. Some are steep. Some aren’t. Some have twists and turns that make them tricky to navigate.
And beyond our staircases, the houses they’re a part of (our life circumstances and hurdles) all have different floorplans. I may need only one staircase to get to where I want to go. Others may need several. Each life is different.
You get the idea.
Make It Your Own
Things brings us back to that second half of the work I mentioned earlier. You may need to learn a system step by step to get started on it. But to really make it stick, you need to make it your own.
We have to remember that any system someone else created was created in a context. That context is their own life, their own work, their own ways of thinking, neurology, and habits. And as much as a system’s creator may try to escape those, and universalize their steps — there’s just no getting away from it.
My system, while it fits me perfectly, is only a model for you. It’s a reference, a template. It alone will not work for you. You can’t do only the half measure of copying my system, and assuming that you can “just add water”. Rather, you need to do the hard work of making the system your own. There’s a few key elements to doing this:
Don’t change your bad habits…yet
Don’t change your bad habits to adopt a new system. The right system for you should work around your current bad habits — at least at the beginning. If you’re starting a new fitness regime, don’t go from struggling to get up in the morning to a 5am 5k run.
If the system you’re adopting suggests a morning workout, but the goal is just to begin working out, tweak that aspect for a bit. Do your run in the afternoon or evening.
Tool Time
If you have to log your progress, or use some kind of app, tool, or worksheet as part of your system — make sure you enjoy using it. If your first experiences with it are difficult and you dread every update — guess how long you’ll continue to use it.
That’s right, you won’t — not for long.
So whatever your system, make sure the tools behind it are fun to use. There are plenty or apps, notebooks, trackers, etc. Find one that’s attractive to you. Consider it like a little cookie — a tasty treat that lures you into following your new system.
Don’t be afraid to tinker
Just over a year ago, I built my own personal productivity system, and unleashed it to the world. There’s now a community of people using it and sharing their experiences, tips, and tricks online.
The people are also tweaking the system based on their own habits and preferences. Some tweaks are pretty radical.
I could be an overly proud creator and jump in with a dissertation on how these tweaks “go against the spirit of the system” or some nonsense. But I don’t, because I understand the value of tweaking a system.
Tweaking a system makes it your own, and gives you skin in the game. Even if the tweaks don’t last, and you need to re-tweak or un-tweak the tweaks — it’s still your system now. You’ve got sweat equity. You’re much more likely to keep it.
The truth is, my system won’t work for you. Yours won’t work for me. But it doesn’t have to. The system you cross the finish line with shouldn’t look too much like the one you started with. Things change; so should your systems.
So whatever method or systems you adopt on your personal growth journey, don’t fall for the trap of having to do everything by the book. A system has a much better shot of working for you if you make it your own. Fit it to your life, your mindset, your tendencies — and tinker with things over time. If you don’t, you run the risk of only doing a half-measure. And as Mike’s story illustrates, that can end pretty badly.