Forrest Gump was wrong. There is a way to know what you’re going to get in a box of chocolates — mostly.
This time of year, at least in the US, the gift packages and treats come flying in (sometimes literally) from vendors and customers. People are saying “thank you” or “hey, how about sending some more business our way” — and they’re doing it the international language of business: food.
The most commonly used phrase in this language is the classic assorted box of chocolates. Sure, it’s a nice gesture. Most people enjoy chocolate candies. They don’t need to be cut, chilled, prepared, and they are less likely to cause guilt, due to their diminutive size.
But the box of chocolates comes with baggage — the anxiety of the unknown. We’ve all been there. You mosey on into the break-room and see a surprise box of chocolates. You’re not an animal, so you’re going to indulge. But you can’t stand the thought of biting into the raspberry creme one, or worse, the monstrosity that is the cherry cordial. You so badly want the chocolate or vanilla buttercream, the nougat, or the caramel one. But the thought of biting into the chocolate with the orange creme sends you into a bout of existential vertigo.
Fear not, friends, I have stumbled upon a very simple rule to help yo navigate through the box of chocolates:
If the candy is square and tall, you are safe — it’s bound to be a non-fruit filled candy. If it’s round, it will tend to be fruit creme filled. Try it at your own risk.
Now, some boxes of chocolates come with guides — a printed paper that shows how the treats are laid out in the box, with their shapes, and tells you what’s in them. This is great, and if you encounter a box with a guide, you can safely dive in. But it is not the common practice. The square/circle rule can help you to pick what you’re looking for in the absence of a guide.
I’m here to help, and I hope this principle has helped you. Let me know how it works for you this holiday season.
If you appreciated this advice, please consider subscribing to my newsletter — Woolgathering. It’s guaranteed to improve the quality of your inbox or 10x your money back.