A List of My Favorite Worst Practices for Article Headlines
- The phrase “Insanely Successful”: What does this even mean? I imagine a wild-eyed madman or madwoman roaming around the neighborhood in really expensive but wrinkled pajamas, yelling loudly at unsuspecting people about their 10 minute morning routine and their conference call with a VC firm. That’s pretty insane. Why not just successful? Wait, let me answer that: that adjective alone doesn’t get you the same amount of clicks, but adding a nonsensical adverb somehow attracts more clicks and (maybe) reads. It’s still a bad look.
- Using the word “will”: As an example “25,000 Productivity Hacks that Will Make You Happier”. They will make me happier? No room for doubt there, no room for them not to work — they will make me happier. It seems like an invitation to disappoint, but I guess it works. That’s why I’m not on the top of a mountain with my hands triumphantly raised, I guess (see title pic).
- “Hacks”: Aside from sounding passé by now (if not actually being passé), what is a hack anyway? Is it just a better way of doing things? Well those have been around for a while, but didn’t go by that name. Is it a better way of doing things that is a workaround and kind of unconventional? Well, many of the “hacks” in these articles are actually not unconventional. They’re actually pretty conventional and well-known. Some of them are actually very structured and time-consuming activities, which to me seems like the opposite of a “hack”.
- “This” rather than a definite noun phrase: Maybe it’s just me, but I hate seeing a headline like “Instead of Pooping Every Day, Do This” — and other variants. It’s clearly a way to get you to click on the piece, but it’s often deceptive. I mean, give me something regarding what you’re going to talk about.
- Saying that something will “instantly” give you some result: To me, this is straight up snake oil sales. That becomes especially clear when you click on the article (you rube, you!) and read the tips or tricks with the promise of instant effectiveness. They end up being gems like “stop thinking negative thoughts” or “be proactive rather than reactive”. Now, don’t get me wrong. This is great advice, and on a technicality, the title is not lying to you — once you are doing those things, they will be instantly effective. The problem is that being proactive or stopping negative thoughts can’t be done instantly. You’ve been hoodwinked!
Do I think that all articles with these fails should be tossed in the trash heap? Of course not. I just think that they represent pitfalls that writers should avoid.
At a deeper level, I think that these “fails” represent what I call a sincerity deficit. It marks a difference between what the author says when trying to get readers vs. what they would tell you as a friend that they were trying to level with.
One of my main goals as a writer in this tricky space of self-help/personal growth/productivity space is to have little to no sincerity deficit. I want to write to you readers (no matter who you are) as I would speak to a dear friend that I was just trying to level with.
In the end, will it mean that my audience builds more slowly? Absolutely. But I believe that whoever does decide to read my stuff will stick around for the long haul because they feel that I’m being sincere. But as always, I could be wrong. I often am.
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